Tracy McPherson, US

 

 

Free Verse   Malady   I went to the doctor today, been sick and tired for days, he said I have a hole in my heart not caused by a gun blown there by gossip instead I can hold my head high I know there is no truth in what was said but now two friendships are dead.     I looked within   I looked within to see if forgiveness is there for you I looked at him also. If he is so willing to believe the worst someone maliciously says about me when we have just begun a friendship then he would never recognize the best about me you both loose     Too many Too Much Unsubscribe   Too Many Too Much Unsubscribe Who reads this stuff Who really cares I once had a cause I truly cared about wrote letters, talked about it even posted it on FB Now I feel like I have ADD opening my e-mail one note from a friend one hundred fifty from “A Special Cause” as I struggle through through the crowd “excuse me, excuse me, I want to talk to my friend” wait, what, wildlife threatened, tax scandal, write to your congressman, OWS/police brutality, too many generals, too many admirals, homeless vets, Veteran's families in food lines where did it start, where does it end how can I contact my friend?     Why is it?   Why is it no matter what I think I have overcome risen above I conquer my demons meet my truth the final equation is still the same one minus one is still nothin?     You must be out there somewhere...   did you marry that “Silly Sally” and think that there was nothin' more when she left for the guy next door I am an amazing woman, grown from the girl you knew still hoping you might see through your narrow visioned glasses your cloudy view of me distorted by my big brother and society I rose above it all I answered my call built my world and built it true my heart still hoping for love from you     Free Verse   Incommunicado   You reach out and call me but your fingers never touch the phone sadly lost in longing for what might have been you sigh and look at your empty hands sadder still I hear your call knowing you're not listening to my answer     Twinklin' Stardust   Twinklin' stardust angel kisses warm wings to hold you while you slept I prayed this for you when I tucked you in your eyes watching me a tiny voice Mom do the angels really hold me I'm not so sure years later I want to know how many times the angels have held you and kept you from harm I know they have and I am grateful     I had this dream   I had lots of dreams the angel stood at the foot of my bed I tried to hide under the covers he laughed and said I still see you tremulous I asked who are you don't go the the party was his reply I asked why don't go to the party “trouble came to pass” I dreamed of a child born and a great earthquake a boy was delivered and a few days later a 7.3 earthquake motherhood, love, divorce, life happened. Laughter, sometimes tears, woven through it all the angel, the boy and joy stayed. I have dreams     It's Nearly Christmas   It's nearly Christmas the boy wonders does Santa know where I live now will he leave the Big Wheel here sadly he toddles off to bed trailing teddy bear blinking back tears suddenly turning around Mom, we forgot cookies and milk Sunrise finds the boy yahooing through the courtyard on his new Big Wheel naked, in too much of a hurry clothes laid out the night before next to his pajamas on the floor     Do you tell them?   Do you tell them how empty your heart has been since he was murdered by an assassin? It's kind of like talkin' about those weird lights in the sky or wakin' up late at night and smellin' cardboard— do you ever tell anyone how many years you have been alone or how you long for a real date or a real boyfriend? You, the vibrant, beautiful woman of mystery with the amazing life of adventure and fulfilling practice do they ever hear you silently yelling or maybe not so silently, God! Dammit I am tired of this. Can I please have a Silly Sally Life with a great guy watch the crabgrass and grand kids and grow? Old and comfortable together? A vacation once in a while and someone who brings me coffee in the morning once in a while? Who would believe your nights are spent alone except for the sneezy cat? Holidays and weekends pretty much the same and no you don't drink 'cause it won't kill the pain— do you tell them?