Renku ~
Yotsumono*
A
perfect day
willows in the dusk–
the budding catkins
barely visible /t
the boy wading the stream
sends a ripple through reed ears
/ly
finally looking
at the sunset... just
a perfect day /t
the crystal glass stem
catches the blush of the wine /ly
Morning calm
morning calm –
a butterfly's wings hover
over the sea /t
a chequerboard of grass fires
slowly mottles the hills /ly
tobacco scent
in the crowd someone
is smoking a pipe /t
gliding around the corner
she signals him with a glance
/ly
Beachcombing
beachcombing
the metal detector
uncovers her ring /ly
the shells on the table
dried by the spring sun /t
whistling into the wind
from the sloping rooftop
brave boy /ly
a paper plane launched
from the attic... /t
Landscape
wattlebirds
in the street tree
passing traffic /ly
winding its way through
the spring field's colors /t
after the bargain sale
the kelpie in the ute
barks at nothing /ly
with a single nail tap
the painter hangs his landscape
/t
About
Renku ~ Yotsumono*
Yotsumono is an
exercise devised by the present author (John Carley, UK). It
extends the historic Mitsumono exercise elsewhere on these
pages by the addition of ageku as a closing verse (Renku
Reckoner).
The structure of the resultant four verse sequence is
similar to that of the Chinese Jueju (Wade-Giles: Chue Chu),
known in Japanese as the Zekku. It may be that the Yotsumono
comes to be viewed as having some merit as a distinct form
in its own right.
Two poets take turns to compose a sequence comprising hokku,
wakiku, daisan and ageku, the initial verses being shorn of
such performative functions of greeting or augury as may be
found in formal composition.
In order to guard against thematic development, all
discussion of the meaning of, or intention behind, any
aspect of a particular verse, the conceptual linkage between
verses, or the overall direction of the poem is disbarred
until completion of the text. By contrast active discussion
of the phonics of the piece is encouraged.
~John Carley, UK
Renku Reckoner: Yotsumono
