Free Verse
Ahalya to
Ram
I was once young and
beautiful
Until I turned a stone and hid my forehead
On the clumsy grass hallowed and brown
I stumbled and lost my form and face
I turned my speech into ashes and withheld my sighs.
How easy to hurt the woman who was cheated by gods?
Deceit and pride did anger invite
Such shame and loss is mine.
Aged with envy, and unmindful distrust
He crossed my legs and left me with a curse
Until the gods intervened
And I came back to life.
But was it the same husband that I aspired for
The same house with its cropped up mats
No I choose to be a stone than a mate
To a man whose eyes believed what he could not see
Yes I’d rather be a stone that leaves neither aches nor
flutters.
I carry within a heaviness that has curled with the weight
Of their angry feet and elsewhere sticks like an old habit.
Without form without face and ashes for speech Hey Ram!
I am now quite uncomfortable with the knowledge
Of knowing a curse would soon fall on her who
Stands beside you in these troubled times.
Radha to
Krishna
Come Krishna
and be my self
Dressed in a woman’s attire
How beautiful it is to see my
Longing for you as I comb my hair
In front of the mirror
Come Krishna and be my kohl
Black and brimming with light
How wonderful it is to read my
Ecstasy as it beholds the joy of
Oneness with you
Come Krishna and be my anklet
Silver embossed and naughty
How full of tease the tinkle is
Knowing it will meet you on the
Banks of Yamuna shielded by cows
Come Krishna and be my scarf
Ladled with shades of red and green
How restless as the wind it flows
Delighted with fragrance of Jasmine
Feet rush in haste to travel with you
Come Krishna and search me now
Not by any name a whisper or a song
How futile it is to call me by any
Name now that I have lost myself
Please let me know in case you find me.
Between
Us
Sometimes it is
there a throat full of sadness
And the knee deep silence and then I find
Somewhere a fistful of smiles which you throw at me
Sometimes it is this a yawning fear restless to follow
It is the lustful terror that rips my bones and suddenly
You come out; open your arms and I seize the courage
Sometimes it is difficult for me to stretch my faith
And the rough flesh makes demands that put me to shame
Swiftly you pull me inside and I unable to resist, pray
Sometimes it is they who cast me aside in suffering
And certainty of pain seers the heart inside out
And on days such as this you lift me high.
Sometimes it is me - my impoverished spirit craving
And wanting to hold to on to that everlasting joy
Everywhere, it is you and suddenly no image is without you.
I am Game
Often it is an
embarrassment this irresistible longing
I stand empty handed, a modern savage with an everlasting
madness.
They took away all that I could have offered to you
days dripping with happiness, and nights,
in proud possession of love.
Dreams played in plenty and there was no dearth of hope.
Heart content as always waited not wanting to disturb
a promise that clutched nothing, but you.
Often have I tried to hide the secret, it gushes out.
Like a lonely woman, anxious for company
I often see tilting hands as if a mere touch of lust
is what I am looking for. So foolish are men
and so little they know of women. Quickly I trace
my steps, a modern savage with an everlasting madness.
Back in its place that worn out sign “Do not disturb”.
I set it free my caged smile and chuckle with relief.
These poems first
appeared in Kavya Bharati (issue 2010 no. 22)
Ranu Uniyal
was educated in Lucknow, JNU- New Delhi, and Hull University,
U.K. She was awarded Commonwealth Scholarship for PhD in English
at Hull University. She is a Professor of English at Lucknow
University.
Her poems have been
published in Northern Poetry Vol.2 (Littlewood
Press UK), Indian literature, Kavya Bharati, Muse India,
Manushi and Femina. She has done poetry readings at
national and international literary festivals and her poems have
been translated into Malayalam, Uzbek and Hindi.
She is one of the
founding members of “PYSSUM” a charitable organization for
children with special needs in Lucknow.
This is Ranu
Uniyal's first appearance in Sketchbook.
