Forty-one Haiku Poets from
eighteen countries composed two hundred-sixteen haiku to celebrate the winter season represented in
the
"first snow" Haiku Thread.
These haiku capture the
essence of winter and show the effect of winter on human
activity.
the wool
scarf
I began to knit last year . . .
first snow
# 09. Karina Klesko, US
an African
man
holds out his hands…
snowflakes
# 09. Chen-ou Liu, CA
the puppy
stops
in the door
snow
# 10. Ralf Bröker, DE
first snow—
the child refuses
to go to bed
# 30. Rita Odeh, IL
first snow
trying to remember
her name
# 15. Djurdja Vukelic-Rozic, CR
first snow
we wait for the bus
with the wind
# 80. Thomas Martin, US
first snow—
half buried in a drift
her missing eyelash
# 102. Sandra Maeryres, IN
first snow
the laughter of my children
louder and lauder
# 123. Jacek Margolak, PL
first snow—
here and there
green grass
# 166. Verica Zivkovic, SR
first snow
my sister’s voice calling
from the doorway
# 177. Gillena Cox, TT
first snow—
I count once again
my mother’s grey hairs
# 187. Cezar-Floria-Ciobîcă, FR
Pivot
Haiku
Each of the
haiku below uniquely use the second line as a pivot line—a
turning point between the image of the first line and
the image of the third line. The interesting situation
about pivot haiku is that they seem to demand the reader
to re-read the entire haiku, taunting the reader to
capture a single moment--an aha!
|
speck of blood
# 151. Alan S. Bridges, US
|
first
snow
filling the pine grove
mukluk mukluk muk…
# 23. Neal Whitman, US |
...and that
single moment is just not possible when a haiku is
structured with a second line pivot. Instead,
there a are two dynamic images sandwiched between the
pivot...
speck of blood
by the woodpile
by the woodpile
first snow |
first
snow
filling the pine grove
filling the pine
grove
mukluk mukluk muk… |
In haiku #
151 Allan S. Bridges has captured the essence of a
hunting moment that will rapidly vanish in a short span
of time as the "first snow" erases all trace of the
first experience replacing it with a new, white and
pristine moment of experience. Taken together the
two moments suggest that in the continuum of time the
only constant is change in the natural world. The
juxtaposition of the two images provides a double aha!
Similarly,
in haiku # 23 Neal Whitman juxtaposes two dispersed
images, the visual image of "first snow" falling in a
pine grove posed against a mysterious sound image—"mukluk
mukluk muk…" We do not the source or cause of the
sound, but we clearly hear it over and over again as the
pine grove fills up with snow. Is it the cold
causing the wood to snap, or is it some creature rapping
on the wood, or perhaps is it the wind causing branches
on the tree to rap continuously against each other?
We will never know... ...and it is that mystery
that provides a precious, cautious moment for those of
us who have listened in a pine grove during a "first
snow".
A number of
additional poets submitted pivot haiku of superior
quality also.
her pink balloon
drifting, drifting, drifting
the first snowfall
# 29. Karina Klesko
eyes of fright
sliding past the stop sign
first snow
# 107. Bernard Gieske, US
|
homemade
chili
at a crowded coffee shop
the first snow
# 43. Karina Klesko, US
almost forgotten
the sound of walking
on first snow
# 51. Ralf Bröker, DE
|
yesterday's newspaper
covered with the first snow
laundered sheets
# 200.
John Daleiden |
For this
issue the haiku poets also submitted a fair number of
traditionally written haiku that included a written
kireji--an emdash or ellipsis—however,
the haiku could also have been written with the second
line as a pivot line.
Young and old
at the window pane—
first snow
# 02. Vasile Moldovan, RO
|
Young and
old
at the window pane
at the window
pane
first snow
|
footprints
everywhere
on the new white carpet—
first snow
# 18. Sandra Martyres, IN
|
footprints everywhere
on the new white carpet
on the new white
carpet
first snow
|
snow clouds—
slumping to the ground
a dandelion
# 50. Janice Thomson, CA
|
snow
clouds
slumping to the ground
slumping to the ground
first snow
|
|
Winter
arrives
with cold northerly winds—
first snow
# 68. Sandra Martyres, IN
|
Winter
arrives
with cold northerly winds
with cold northerly winds
first snow
|
crushed egg
shells
under the dove's nest—
first snowfall
# 77. Cristina-Monica Moldoveanu, RO
|
crushed
egg shells
under the dove's nest
under the dove's nest
first snowfall
|
jubilant voices
in the morning stillness...
first snow
# 78. Keith A. Simmonds, TT
|
jubilant
voices
in the morning stillness
in the morning stillness
first snow
|
first snow
in the willow grove—
the waiting begins
# 112. Alegria Imperial, CA
|
first
snow
in the willow grove
in the willow grove
the waiting begins
|
first snow
on every playground
a snowman
# 119. Jacek Margolak, PL
|
first
snow
on every playground
on every playground
a snowman
|
|
a young
couple
prancing up and down—
first snow
# 95. Keith A. Simmonds, TT
|
a young
couple
prancing up and down
prancing up and down—
first snow
|
|
through
prison bars—
the first snow deepens the pain
of childhood memories
# 71. Karina Klesko, US
|
through
prison bars
the first snow deepens the pain
he first snow deepens the pain
of childhood memories
|
the scent of
apples
among her furs—
first snow
# 126. Alegria Imperial, CA
|
the scent
of apples
among her furs
among her furs—
first snow
|
first snow ...
restarting
the car engine
# 179. Bouwe Brouwer, NL
|
first
snow
restarting
restarting
the car engine
|
first snow
covering autumn leaves—
the cold deepens
# 202. John Daleiden, US
|
first
snow
covering autumn leaves
covering autumn leaves
the cold deepens
|
The following
attributes make these haiku stand out:
-
the use
of fragment and phrase structure.
-
the use
of a kigo word—"first
snow", William Higginson—The
Haiku Handbook, p. 282.
-
the use
of kireji.
-
the use
of 5 7 5 or fewer syllables
-
the use
of the second line as a pivot
