Haibun
Valentine
Haibun: Date with a PLHWA*
*(person
living with Hiv/Aids)
In the Nairobi ’s Kayole/Soweto
Slums where I live and work, February is usually a dry
dusty month full of dusty breezes. But the sunrises are
gloriously splendid. You wake up guaranteed a golden
orange sun and an azure-blue sky. But on February 14th
2009, I celebrated a unique Valentine like none other I
had ever had. I dated a Person Living with HIV/AIDS.
Valentine’s day—
red roses displayed
on dusty roadsides
17: 05 Hours: I did not
know what could be the best gift for my date as I closed
and locked my office. I started off to our
rendezvous—her flat. It was a lovely evening with a cool
breeze sweeping across Soweto Slum, mildly stirring up a
little dust here and there, and some times a whole
litter of polythene paper floated in the dark blue
evening sky. Most of the young cute-looking people I met
on the streets were either fully or half dressed in
something red or at least had something red tagged
somewhere on their cloth.
students crowding
a lush red coloured stall—
Valentine Cards
Romanticism was slowly
enveloping Kayole and Soweto Slums in the twilight; the
boldness of the uniformed students in pairs bargaining
for Valentine Cards and gifts that were variously and
creatively designed to offer variety totally mesmerized
me; this scenario pushed me a notch higher on the
Valentine Ritcher Scale. I was pressed for time. Not
only was I required to accomplish my date with Miss L.
(not her real name— names are not mentioned here
for confidentiality reasons), but I was also required to
take my wife out on a date to Nyama Villa, and later to
throw a late night family party for our three daughters
Faith, Esther and Liz.
Valentine ballads—
nostalgia of memories past
burns me up.
Let me tell you more
about my work. I work in a community secondary school
based in Nairobi ’s Kayole-Soweto Slums. The school has
a mixed population of both boys and girls, about 600
students aged between 13-18. But sometimes we receive
extraordinary and unusual students not only in age, but
also in background and experience. Some are aged over
twenty and some are just below twenty but the
experiences are flabbergasting. The oldest student we
have ever received was Master R who was aged twenty six,
in 2005. (Names are not used here since these are
confidential files in our institution). Master R
completed his O Levels in 2008 and is now a teacher. In
fact, our school is a very special centre that mends
broken dreams, lives, brains, hopes, and hearts. For the
seven years I have worked here, though, the year 2009
was an exceptional year for me. For the first time, we
had two 2 students, Miss M and Miss D sitting for their
O Level Exams with distended blessings in their wombs.
And for the first time, we also had two Students Living
with HIV/AIDS in our midst. They were Miss B and W. Of
course I do not imply that we have never had teenage
pregnancies in our school before; far from it. In fact,
we do have them every year, even though our statistics
for the last five years—2005-2009—show a sharp decline.
The fact is that in 2009 we did not treat these cases in
the usual tradition of expelling and stigmatizing.
Instead, we showed sensitivity, understanding, and moral
as well as psychological support. We ordered them to sit
for their exams and sternly cautioned all the other
students against any form of discrimination and
stigmatization. The question that triggered this was:
“Why haven’t we, as a society, ever expelled or
stigmatized the boys or men who usually impregnate these
girls? Why should the girls carry the burden of
pregnancy alone, while the boys or men with whom they
shared the pleasure of pro-creating are allowed to go on
with their lives totally uninterrupted?”
she is too large
to fit in between the desk—
her distended tummy
Thank God for our
Government for endorsing this new policy. The girls can
now sit for exams even if they are pregnant!
she tells a female
teacher that she’s older than her—
student mother
Our School also broke the
record among community schools in 2009 for allowing 2
student mothers to study and for sit their O Level
Exams. The most outstanding one was Miss E, who had been
forcibly married off at the age of 16, due to poverty in
their family. She had given birth with much difficulty
to two children by the time we caught up with her in her
matrimony. With the help of the Authorities, we managed
to extricate her from the abusive matrimony. She joined
our centre in 2007 and successfully sat for her O Level
Exams in 2009. She had dropped out in Form 2. She had
come to the centre with a broken heart, body and brain,
as well as spirit, but she left the centre a healed,
pretty girl in specs. She was very close to my wife.
sharing smses
from her former ex-husband—
student mother
Generally, our students
are the most beautiful-looking in the whole slum. With
their resplendent uniforms and proud looks and posture,
they usually attract many others to the school. But
underneath these beautiful faces and uniforms, are
resilient spirits who have fought all forms of social
and economic evils: drug abuse, teenage pregnancy,
HIV/AIDS, abject poverty, sex abuse and molestation,
domestic violence, and child labour. The year 2009 was
also extra-ordinary because we also admitted 2 Students
Living with HIV/AIDS.
18:10 Hours: At the
Market Stall, I struggled undecidedly with Valentine
Cards and Gifts to buy for my date. The Cards and gifts,
although all in red, differed in size, decorations and
material and hence the variation in prices. In the
background, ballads, vehicle honks, the usual market
din, as well as the hawkers’ monotonous sales slogans
and stories blared on. I finally settled for a small but
cute Valentine gift for Miss L. It was a nicely woven
traditional basket made from wild date palm reeds. It
had a huge fully bloomed red plastic rose at the centre
with Red Ribbons fluttering all around the red rose and
the basket. There was a simple love message scribbled on
a rectangular paper glued to the side of the basket:
To Someone very
SPECIAL,
On this Valentine:
I LOVE YOU!
18:30 Hours: It was
getting dark and twilight was fading into night, but
colourful lights kept shooting into life from all
buildings around, thus brightening the night. Night
clubs, pubs and all entertainment joints were Valentine
Red in lighting and decoration.
I arrived at Miss L’s
flat and knocked on the door. It was a high rise
building with several other tenants in it. As I stood
outside her door waiting for it to be opened, I noticed
that it was smeared with several stickers, all carrying
HIV/AIDS messages. But the most outstanding sticker was
the one with the President holding hands in a tight
circle with people of all ages, classes, and religions.
And the poignant message on it was:
“Tuungane
Tuangamize
UKIMWI!”
“Let us unite
And eradicate
HIV/AIDS!”
I read this message over
and over again as I waited for the door to be answered.
Soon there was a click and the door opened. And before
me, a beautifully dressed lady in a jeans trouser, open
shoes, and red T-shirt, stood before me in the
light-flooded sitting room, smiling sweetly, but her
eyes were sad and lonely. That was Miss L. She had done
a lot for the community—rescuing girls and women who
suffered from HIV/AIDS stigmatization and
discrimination. Our school had formed a network with her
organization for the same reason; she had been the first
girl in this part of Nairobi to publicly declare her HIV
status.
I held the gift out to
her and watched as pleasant shock and surprise engulfed
her; she pouted the surprise. I silenced her with a
hearty embrace and two pecks on both cheeks.
The light sparkled in her
dark lonely eyes as she whispered, “Do you mean you love
me this much?” made my Valentine.
“Yes,” I said, “You
deserve much much more. You have made a difference in so
many lives here.” We released each other. “But I’m
afraid, I won’t stay. I’m taking my wife out to Nyama
Villa and we have a family party later to-night.”
“I’m so grateful you
thought of me, Pat. You’ve made my Valentine.”
“Don’t mention it.” I said and kissed her Happy
Valentine.
a red night of eating
chicken and dancing jazz—
dating my wife
This year’s Valentine,
I’m dating Miss B, a Student Living with HIV/AIDS in our
Centre.
