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Choice Haiku, Editor Karina Klesko

 

 

 

 

from the 2009 Spring "arts and Crafts" thread

 

Some Favorites . . . and Some Comments

 

Hello from Karina!

Here are a few haiku from some of my arts or craft projects when I was growing up. I have taken this time to comment on some of the haiku I have chosen and to edit ones I may have chosen except for its presentation.

Haiku is usually void of adjectives / not always of course, so as to let the reader bring their own imagination into the haiku, their feelingstheir environment. Haiku does not use blatant metaphor but in its construction a metaphor is formed in the AHA moment. Haiku does not use personification. Haiku uses only the senses ...things the reader can see, touch, taste etc.

The haiku poet can not express someone else's feelings, thoughts or expressions, as the writer can't see them, taste them or touch them, or hear them. Skilled haiku writers do not use abstractions ....some are successfully and cleverly constructed into haiku ... a simple structure of haiku is:

Setting/Place
Subject/
Action

This structure is NOT always or necessarily in that orderassociated thought to the first two lines. How does the third line create a juxtaposition with the other two lines?

Haiku writers can use comparison ...the opposite...association or wabi. We need to keep raising the Excellence and raising the Bar of our submissions in haiku . This will be the year of Excellence!

Here are my "arts and crafts" haiku for the fun of it. There is actually a story behind each one...

grandfather clock
her knitting needles
steadily click-click

Karina Klesko

 

collage for art class
cutting up the articles
in dad's playboy. . .

Karina Klesko

* everyone seems to get them for the articles!  Smile; they do use live models in art ...right?

comic strips
the paper mache' rabbit
gets bigger & bigger . . .

Karina Klesko

 

colored macaroni
art too heavy to hang

teacher's conference

Karina Klesko

 

paint by number
I 'm still on number 1. . .
years of procrastination

Karina Klesko

 

success at last!
selling half-finished crafts
for half-price

Karina Klesko

We should have more of these, as I / we all seem to collect a closet full of half-finished projects...the secret is to go to one that is already half done!

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I could not resist choosing the two Sketchbook Poems...

I paint my dreams
     in the new Sketchbook
          daffodils bloom

# 48 Jacek Margolak, PL

 

spring sketchbook
     buds bursting
          into bloom

# 05. Karen O'Leary, US

 

new flowerpot...
a trace of the clay
on her brow

# 36. Jacek Margolak, PL

 

magic marker
     in the restroom stall,
          a spring flower

# 03. Eric V. aka El Coyote, US

 

gold embroidered
     on her hemp t-shirt

          a cannabis leaf

# 10. Barbara A Taylor, AU

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more favorites ....and comments

spring sketchbook
buds burst
in bloom

# 05. Karen O'Leary  (unedited...)

 

My son's primer—
a forget-me-not flower
bookmark

# 07. Vasile Moldovan, RO

 

thick woolly jumpers...
how many stitches
from arthritic hands?

# 08. Barbara A Taylor, AU

 

Planting rice...
the farmers sing sometimes
with the skylark

# 20. Vasile Moldovan, RO

 

crafted petals
falling upon a
smiling Buddha's head

# 27. Keith A. Simmonds, TT

Hi Keith ! I think I would have liked this better...if it read what type of petals....also haiku should not be written as sentences....just a line break does not substitute for kireji

paper petals
fall on a laughing Buddha—
origami garden

Karina........

 

Behind the ploughman
only hungry crows hunting
confused earth worms

# 30. Vasile Moldovan, RO

 

I know English is not your first language...but the word "and" cannot dangle at the end of the line.

Behind the ploughman / only hungry crows and / confused earth worms

# 30. Vasile Moldovan, RO

This is very nice....especially about the confused earthworms. I think that is very humorous...but it reads as a sentence. I like the whole picture it presents. To take it out of a sentence structure

only hungry crows hunting / behind the ploughman / confused earth worms

# 30. Vasile Moldovan, RO

This then takes away the sentence structure and creates a middle pivot line that can work with the first part or line, or the second part or line. I hope you do not mind this suggestion. I would not take the time to re-write the haiku, except I like it so much! Karina

 

Scent of the lime tree—
The eyelid of twilight
Upon someone's hopes

# 31. Ioan Marinescu-Puiu, RO

***This is very interesting, The wonderful clean fresh scent of lime and then the optimism of hope juxtapositions with twilight although personification (line 2) is generally not used in haiku.

scent of the lime tree—
twilight disappears
into my dreams

# 31. Ioan Marinescu-Puiu, RO

----------------------------------------------------

early thaw...
the green spot
on a printer's palm

# 38. Jacek Margolak, PL

 

vernal equinox
straightening the paintings
into one line

# 50. Jacek Margolak, PL

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spring sunlight
shimmers on the paint brush...
the awakening

# 54. Keith A. Simmonds, TT

I love this except the last line—

spring sunlight
shimmers on the paint brush...
a drop of burnt umber

a dorp of yellow ..gold ....just an idea ...

# 54. Keith A. Simmonds, TT

I think it is interesting to begin the second line with the 'sh' and then to end with the 'sh' shimmer/brush

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Another haiku below is enhanced by sound. Without the em dash it makes a nice pivot line as well

sewing machines whizz
way into the dawn hours—
corn soup sizzling

# 19. Gillena Cox, TT

 

Art On the Square—
paintings, pots, and jewelry
all in rows

# 57. John Daleiden, US

Read the entire "arts and crafts" thread.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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