Bon Voyage!
In January
Sketchbook haiku thread writers wrote about Winter
Activities / winter Olympics / winter sports. Twelve poets
posted fifty-five haiku; four countries were represented—Trinidad,
Israel, Romania, Canada, and the United States. A wide rage of
winter activities takes place in this large geographical space—
Each of the poets
below should be awarded a free trip to a destination of their
choice as a reward for excellent haiku; also, their interesting
winter activities haiku should be incorporated in brochures
promoting winter travel.
The following haiku
demonstrate regional examples of winter activity; each haiku is
also skillfully written. I offer these comments on the skillful
use of haiku techniques:
Crossing the border
between autumn and winter
birds without a nest
# 02. Vasile Moldovan, RO
The use of the middle
line as a pivot gives the poet much flexibility; this
technique turns the normal three line haiku into a four line
poem—lines 1-2,
followed by lines 2-3. Additionally, in this poem the poet has
used the common details of the setting so that they become
symbols representing the season. Literally, there is no
physical "border" between "autumn and winter", yet,
figuratively, readers recognize this seasonal period as a
time when "birds" migrate to a more temperate climate. These
details literally and figuratively make the reader aware of the
transition between two seasons—autumn and winter.
Snow on the apple
trees—
in front of the window
the carol singers
# 14. Magdalena Dale, RO
One traditional winter activity
is singing "carols". The presence of "apple trees" in this haiku
reminds us of the inter-connection of one season with another
season. Here, the images provide readers with a sense of time
continuity. The juxtaposition of opposing seasonal images—"apple
trees" juxtaposed with "snow" and "carol singers", images from
two seasons, provides a startling contrast. In my opinion
this haiku does not need the em-dash at the end of the first
line; this reading of the haiku would make the second line
function as a pivot line.
New Year's Eve
the divorced man
hugs his daughter
#24. Bill Kenney, US
Seasonal celebrations
are another traditional activity that engages people—New
Years is a familial time of year. In this haiku three seemingly
separate images, "New Year's Eve", "the divorced man" and "hugs
his daughter", combine to create a bridge of peace in a world
that is obviously fragmented. This juxtaposition of diverse
images merges to create a sense of joy.
Chinese New Year
men in gray suits
guide the dragon
# 17. Bill Kenney, US
The Chinese New Year
Dragon is a cultural symbol of the Chinese people who have faith
in the long held belief that they are descendents of the dragon,
an age old conviction firmly embedded in their customs and
traditions. In western cultures dragons are usually regarded as
scary symbols of malevolence, however, in China, the dragon is
held in high esteem for its supernatural power, goodness,
fertility, vigilance, and poise. The Chinese New Year Dragon
dance is a traditional symbol of a ritual rain dance—popularly,
it is an entertainment performed during the Chinese New Year.
Dragons are considered as the governors of rainfall. In China,
the majority of people depend on agriculture for their
livelihood, the timely arrival of rains is a necessity. Legends
say that the dragon dance was first performed as a means of
appeasing the "Dragon King" into releasing rain onto the drought
stricken lands of the farmers. In a dragon dance, a team of
dancers carry the image of the dragon on poles; the lead dancers
of the troupe lift, dip, thrust, and sweep the dragon head and
its long train, in a wicked and undulating manner. Musical
accompaniment is supplied by musicians with traditional drums,
cymbals, and gongs. Ironically, in this haiku, the dancers are
"men in gray suits". It appears, that this traditional
"agricultural" celebration has been "urbanized" and is being
performed in a city setting. The major technique used here is
the juxtaposition of a traditional celebration—the
Chinese New Year Dragon Dance—with
an urban setting; the old is being juxtaposed with the new.
winter morning...
high waves challenge
an empty chair
# 11. Rita Odeh, IL
In this haiku the
effects of a winter season are indirectly experienced. The
juxtaposition of natural elements, "high waves" on a "winter
morning", contrasted with human made elements, "an
empty chair", offers a stark commentary on the powerful effect
nature can have over man. In contrast, the effect of the waves
seems destined to overpower, the "empty chair" some human has
left behind in this scene. Without comment, the implications of
the the contrasted images are startling. How insignificant seem
the works of man when seen in juxtaposition with the awesome
power of nature.
winter bareness
a gray squirrel
crosses the park
# 33. Bill Kenney, US
These two haiku when
read in succession offer an interesting contrast between a
natural setting and an urban setting. Who has not observed "a
gray squirrel" in an urban park setting? In spite of the
"winter bareness", the squirrel survives as it remains in a
barren setting. "Winter", "the park", and "a gray squirrel"—all
natural elements, exist in a unity that is observed by the
un-named narrative voice of the haiku—a
human observer who very probably only visits the scene
occasionally or periodically. The irony of the contrast is a
stark reminder for humans of the powerful forces of nature and
the leaned separation man has achieved though human design and
choice.
winter waves...
surfers
on call
# 38. Shanna Baldwin Moore, US
This minimal haiku set on the
winter beaches of Hawaii juxtaposes a natural image,
"winter waves" with the allure the waves have for humans,
"surfers".
dancing up a storm
a line of galoshes
against the wall
# 40. Bill Kenney, US
In anticipation of a
serious snow storm humans ready their comfort equipment—"galoshes".
These "galoshes" are lined up "against the wall", ready for use
in the event of a snow storm. The observing narrator views
this readiness as a line dance—an interesting urban
social image. Once again the haiku poet has juxtaposed a human
image—"a line of galoshes" with the potential strength of
a winter "storm", a natural image.
After the storm,
more leaves and pine straw to rake—
southern winter.
# 30. Zhanna P. Rader, US
In this regional
representation of a winter "storm" in the south part of the
United States (Georgia), the poet narrator lets us observe the
powerful effects of a "winter storm"—it makes work for
the humans, "more leaves and pine straw to rake". Here,
the juxtaposition of the natural environment and the
cultural habits of humans are contrasted. As a reader I am
amused that humans choose to clean up after nature.
slalom gates
the zigzags of sunlight
at day's end
# 01.
Karina Klesko, US
In this haiku the
interaction of human activity, the placement of "slalom gates"
on a ski slope, is mimicked by nature, "the zigzags of sunlight
/ at day's end". The juxtaposition of human
activity and natural phenomenon results in an ironic comment.
midwinter
the child is learning
subtraction
# 44. Bill Kenney, US
"Midwinter" is a
natural incremental measurement of an on-going natural
phenomenon, winter; the passage of seasonal time takes place
relentlessly, regardless of human activity. In contrast, humans
have to "learn" incremental progressions—in this case a "child
is learning / subtraction". The author has offered a clever
juxtaposition of natural and human activity. Through this
juxtaposition readers are offered a dynamic understanding of
the inter-relationships of nature and humans.
snowshoes
stand by the cabin door
your hand finds mine
# 43 trish shields, CA
The propensity of
humans to protect themselves from the harsh elements of winter
are deliciously presented by this Canadian writer. In this haiku
the "snowshoes / stand by the cabin door" in readiness while two
humans comfort themselves—"your hand finds mine".
In this juxtaposition the two contrasting images each
demonstrate dynamic elements of power.
One by one
they disappear;
hikers in the snow
# 39. hortensia anderson, US
In this haiku the
juxtaposition of human activity, "One by one (hikers)
disappear", is set in opposition to natural elements, "snow" as
the humans venture forth. In this haiku the
juxtaposition combines with ambiguity—the
reader does not know if the "one by one" "disappear"ance of
humans is temporary or permanent. The haiku ends with no
resolution to this question and the reader is left to speculate—an interesting philosophical conundrum.
after the storm...
under that dark blue sky
a bird flys and flys
# 48. Rita Odeh, IL
In this haiku two
natural elements are placed in juxtaposition—1) a
post storm scenic location "under that dark blue sky" and a
descriptive detail, 2) "a bird flys and flys". The human
reader / observer views these two natural elements placed in an
interesting relationship. The haiku provides a sense of
relief and escape from the effects of a "storm".
winter seclusion
writing a comment
in the margin
# 35. Bill Kenney, US
A juxtaposition
of the external placed in apposition to the internal: "Outside"
a winter storm has caused a human to take refuge "inside",
seeking seclusion. During "seclusion" on the inside,
the human, the poet writes "a comment / in the margin".
What is the comment? The comment was written on the margin of
what? We do not know the answer to either question—we
can only speculate, a fact which raises philosophical questions.
The un-answerable speculation leads the reader to ambiguity;
as readers of the haiku we gaze into a philosophical "dark well"
of the unknown and the unknowable.
after the blizzard—
"do people really go
snow-viewing?"
# 49. Bill Kenney, US
Humor is the antidote
to boredom! After a period of great ennui caused during
confinement inside due to "the blizzard", an external
natural factor, some people seek relief from tedium by going
outside and viewing the wonders of the snowy world—they
go "snow-viewing" much like a curious soon to be bride might go
diamond browsing for a wedding band. The juxtaposition
of being confined inside during a "blizzard" leads to
the curiosity of a human to go outside "snow-viewing"
after the emanate danger has passed. The answer to the
rhetorical question posed in the haiku is an emphatic yes.
Some people delight in "snow-viewing! It might also be
said, some people delight in "corpse-viewing" and attend every
wake in their community, even the wake of a stranger. While the
tone of the narrative voice in the haiku suggests an attitude of
incredulity, a reflective moment on the part of a
different reader answers with a, "yes, some do!" with a
resounding credulity. Once again the imponderable
presence of ambiguity emerges and some readers smile as a
result, but others will only frown and scowl.
Hot tea—
the old man warms his hands
against the cup.
# 55. Zhanna P. Rader, US
All journeys come to
an end and this one fades out with a pleasant cup of hot tea
held to warm the hands of an old man. Here, the beverage (the
haiku), meant primarily to serve as an internal,
consumable refreshment, also serves as a comfortable external
comforter, much like the above collection of haiku. Both the tea
and the haiku provide a satisfactory external read for
the perceptive viewer and an internal, philosophical
feeling of satisfaction for the receptive reader. I have enjoyed
this immersion in winter activity haiku.
These well constructed
poems contain skillful examples of haiku that utilize the following
techniques: pivot, literal, figurative, juxtaposition of
contrast, juxtaposition of diverse images, juxtaposition
of a traditional celebration, juxtaposition of natural elements
with human made elements, juxtaposing a natural image with a
human image, juxtaposition of the natural environment and
the cultural habits of humans, ambiguity, juxtaposition of
inside and outside, and humor.
And so, faithful haiku
writer, que up at your nearest travel agent's office. Collect
your free trip. Bon Voyage!
Bon Voyage!
Crossing the border
between autumn and winter
birds without a nest
# 02. Vasile Moldovan, RO
Snow on the apple
trees—
in front of the window
the carol singers
# 14. Magdalena Dale, RO
New Year's Eve
the divorced man
hugs his daughter
#24. Bill Kenney, US
Chinese New Year
men in gray suits
guide the dragon
# 17. Bill Kenney, US
winter morning...
high waves challenge
an empty chair
# 11. Rita Odeh, IL
winter bareness
a gray squirrel
crosses the park
# 33. Bill Kenney, US
winter waves...
surfers
on call
# 38. Shanna Baldwin Moore, US
dancing up a storm
a line of galoshes
against the wall
# 40. Bill Kenney, US
After the storm,
more leaves and pine straw to rake—
southern winter.
# 30. Zhanna P. Rader, US
slalom gates
the zigzags of sunlight
at day's end
# 01.
Karina Klesko, US
midwinter
the child is learning
subtraction
# 44. Bill Kenney, US
snowshoes
stand by the cabin door
your hand finds mine
# 43 trish shields, CA
One by one
they disappear;
hikers in the snow
# 39. hortensia anderson, US
after the storm...
under that dark blue sky
a bird flys and flys
# 48. Rita Odeh, IL
winter seclusion
writing a comment
in the margin
# 35. Bill Kenney, US
after the blizzard—
"do people really go
snow-viewing?"
# 49. Bill Kenney, US
Hot tea—
the old man warms his hands
against the cup.
# 55. Zhanna P. Rader, US
