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Outerwear December 2006 Haiku Thread

 

 


Outerwear

The subject for the December 2006 haiku thread is "outerwear". "Outerwear" means any clothes or decorative objects that humans wear.
 

 

Editor's Haiku Choices for December 2006


Karina's Choices

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

winter coat
the cat
looks bigger

Well, Shanna you have done it again! I love this for the wonderful metaphor we can all associate with this haiku. The simplicity yet the layers of meanings within the layers itself.

sudden cold snap
moth-holes in the sleeve
of his sweater

Betty Kaplan, this is a very nice haiku. I like the word snap, for the sound, the brittleness, of the season. The broken threads of the sweater—the moth-holes, could be why the sudden cold, a wind etc. is felt by the wearer. The sudden coldness within, loops back to the season of summer when the moths were busy in preparation for the cooler days ahead. A surprise to the person when in need of the sweater that it has been moth-eaten / a break in the fabric of things/plans etc.

playground...
a white knitted toque
in the snow

Vaughn Seward: I like this one because of the texture. In a snowy white landscape the texture of a knitted white toque is noticeable. As humans are still noticed in the most subtle of natural settings. The playground representing the youthful, budding effervescence that was there perhaps in the past or past seasons, a hat / crown is left behind. In the biblical sense, a remnant.

Women in black,
he can't tell who's mom—
all veils are alike

Rita Oden: I love this one as it has been something I have wondered. Is there some sort of decal on the veil or garment for children to pick out one mother from another?

Also the color black, significant as in mourning, or moonless night. I like the universal appeal that all mom's are alike and we really are and there is a great bond between all nations of women in that way. They say it takes a whole village to raise one child—a child having one birth mother but mothers looking after him around the world, how amazing that is.

The haiku is getting better and better across the board. Those were my allotted three picks but I have also included a few I liked very much and had a hard time passing over.

the child,
in her mom's pants—
a giggling mirror

Rita , I thought this was a riot, a lot of fun. On one hand it challenges personification, yet it is real. The mirror can seem to be giggling back, and that is why i fell in love with this one. It has many layers....as it is showing a mirror of the mother herself in procreation, as well as the mirror. This haiku is in my top picks because it is so clever and and so much fun. One of my favorites as well.

Your floral coat
aglow like a god's polished teeth
enchant spirits

Rommy , I like this very much. There is something very exotic and sensual about it. Something ominous. The one knit pick I had was that it reads like a sentence, which actually qualifies it as a very nice poem. There is no sharp cut but not all haiku necessarily have to have that.  see below ...*

Your floral coat
aglow like a god's polished teeth

***this fascinates me and I would like to know what your image was when you wrote it. I am wondering if it is a woman's floral outer garment or cape, tunic etc. ethereal in the light....or possibly a garden at sunset....

enchant spirits

*** this give it the ominous almost angelic quality.

after the night—
just remnants of a fragrance
that clothed her

Gerry Bravi: The words that caught my attention in this poem were...remnants of a fragrance that clothed her... This is very sensual and creative in an outerwear thread. It is like the memory, the night is wrapped in a cocoon, again waiting for the butterfly.

Making a choice this month was very hard and took both myself and John many hours to go over and over and make our decisions. Each one of us makes our decisions independently and then we show what we picked. It is always fun to see if we pick the same haiku!

Best Wishes to all,

Karina Klesko
 

 

 


John's Choices

In December thirteen OutlawPoets participated in the “outerwear” haiku thread, riting sixty-four haiku. Generally, I am not superstitious about the number thirteen, but the more I thought about the number thirteen, the more I began to fret, and yes, let my mind be affected by silly superstition.

Finally, after multiple readings I selected
seven haiku that I really liked for different reasons and the battle to make a choice of two began. I never won the battle—I ended up choosing three haiku because they all appealed to me in a similar manner.

The “outerwear” clothing that we don provides a cloak—a covering for the more elemental side of our physical being. The sensual base of our humanness—the mysterious ever present but always partly concealed flesh of our bodies tantalizes our minds. Three of the haiku suggest the sensual side of human nature by removing “outerwear” and exposing the physical / sensual side of our beings.

From Hawaii Shanna Baldwin Moore gives us a laconic glimpse of tropical life:

no tradewinds today
wearing nothing
but my perspiration

In my mind, I hear the crash of gentle surf; I see the roll of waves, and feel the warmth of sand between my toes. I long to be as carefree as this unencumbered beach bather. In short I am envious.

In a similar manner Rita Odeh from Israel, depicts a women in moonlight:

windy evening,
slipping out of her blouse—
the moon blushes

In this scene the reader can only imagine what follows. What is left out of this haiku is the intriguing part. Ordinarily, I would probably ignore a haiku like this because line three so clearly personifies the moon—giving to the moon the kind of moral, judgmental notions usually expressed by humans. But this inversion of roles is intriguing and provides me with a mild laugh. The irony of tables turned is delicious.

Finally, from Manitoba, Canada, Gerry Bravi draws a delicate memory portrait:

after the night—
just remnants of a fragrance
that clothed her

After the relationship, after the eventful evening it is her “fragrance” that lingers. Once more understated absence of specific detail allows the mind to seize upon the sensual possibilities of a fulfilling physical love.

The common denominator in these three haiku is an understatement of event and a deep sense of quiet, beautiful, and fulfilling physical love.

John Daleiden
 

 

 


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