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Found Poetry Contest
 

 

 

 

Unmetered Couplets

 

“An English Poem”

 

Welcome to the poem that is written
on a language called ‘English’ based on Britain.
We are the creatures in our creation.
Can we learn much of pronunciation?
Your head may spin reading this odd verse
where ‘corpse’, ‘corps’, ’worse’, ’horse’- can be a curse;
where ‘blood’ and ‘flood’ are not like ‘good’ and ‘food’!
Nor can we say ‘mould’ like ‘should’ and ‘would’
Just compare ‘round’ ‘wound’, ‘grieve’ and ‘sieve’.
Then pronounce ‘friend’ and ‘fiend’, ‘alive’ and ‘live’.
Here ‘query’ cannot be rhymed with ‘very’.
Does ever ‘fury’ sound like ‘bury’?
Can we align ‘alien’ with ‘Italian’?
Please remember – ‘dandelion’ and ‘battalion’
Now look here- ‘Sally’ with ‘ally’, ‘yea’ or ‘ye’!
‘I’, ‘eye’, ‘ay’, ‘aye’ or whey and key!!
How about spelling a little bit of – Psyche?
Can you feel a bit stout or spikey?
Let’s find which actually rhymes with ‘enough’-
‘through’, ‘plough’, ‘though’, ‘dough’ or ‘cough’?
We can hear ‘hiccough’ from the sound of ‘cup’.
Still my request is never to give up.
Please be careful of the dreadful word ‘heard’.
That looks like ‘beard’ but sounds like bird
We pronounce ‘dead’ like ‘bed’, never like ‘bead’
Please for God’s sake never call it ‘deed’.
The word ‘abbreviation’ is always so long.
‘Booth’ is never ‘beeth’, ‘tooth’ is ‘teeth’ so strong
Here ‘sharp speech’ and ‘blunt speech’ can be the same
While ‘overlook’ and ‘oversee’ are oppositely tame.
One day the weather can be hot as hell.
The next day it can be cold as hell as well.
Here the stars are out when they are visible.
And the lights are out when they are invisible.
When a house burns up, it burns down.
There are some more- please don’t frown.
Here alarm clock goes off by going on.
Read and laugh- “Wow! ‘cow’ does ‘mow’ the lawn!”
Here we find a ‘strapful gown’ and a ‘horseful carriage’
I think I can rhyme this with a ‘hopeful marriage’!
In ‘pineapple’ we find neither apple nor pine.
The bandage is wound around the wound - fits fine
Here customers do the waiting, food servers are waiters!
Can’t recall how to spell- mnemonic, are we writers?
Here longer than sixty minutes rush hours last.
Quick sand works slowly, can’t it be fast?
Even feet can smell and nose can run
Tomboys are girls, isn’t it much fun?
Hotdogs can be cold with so much of fame.
A slim chance and a fat chance still means the same.
Midwives can be men, isn’t it scary?
When we see stars in eyes, is it so starry?
I still wonder of a caregiver and a caretaker.
A bad licking and a good licking- just the same shaker.
Monosyllabic has five syllables; please just count.
It’s neither here nor there- where is the amount?
No synonym for synonym I have ever found.
To find the already-built ‘buildings’ my eyes search around.
Here we drive in a parkway, in a driveway we park.
And night falls but never breaks, even in the dark.
But the day always breaks, never it will fall.
If I call you a name, will you answer the call?
‘Earn’ but ‘ear’; please try to hear.
‘Wear’ but ‘tear’ now listen here!
We play at a recital, recite at a play.
When you ‘lie’ to me, you don’t ‘lie down’ or lay.
Here soldier deserts his dessert in the desert.
None of these words can be rhymed with ‘Hazard’.
Here preachers never praught, but teachers taught.
Find a tear in a cloth, shedding a tear can be fought.
It’s called a ‘shipment’ transporting by car.
Transporting by ship’s called ‘cargo’ so far.
The wind is too strong to wind the sail.
The failure is successful when you fail.
We fill in a form by filling it out
Wiseman and wise guy are opposites to pout.
It’s time to present the present in present time.
This is how this language goes- supreme sublime.
The insurance is invalid for the invalid we find.
Extraordinary isn’t more ordinary than ordinary kind.
Where on earth is the egg in eggplant, let us see.
‘Shameful’ and ‘shameless’ behave the same to flee.
I love the same meaning in ‘Quite a lot’ and ‘Quite a few’.
If I’ll get the lead out, I may lead something new.
I try hard to match- ‘doll’ with ‘roll’, ‘dull’ with ‘bull’.
But I don’t think I’ll remain anymore a fool.
Rather I’ll be joining in an “English School’’.
To find out if ‘but’ and ‘cut’ sounds like ‘put’
Or find me the ‘route’ to your English ‘root’?

 

Author Note: Source of my poem: Richard Lederer has penned more than 2,000 books and articles about language , including his bestselling ''Crazy English''. I have found the theme and ideas from that book and also from the website-

http://www.istudentcity.com/feature/091900_crazy1.asp

I have made this poem out of it. All the lines and rhymes are created by me (Munia Khan) inspired by that book of Richard's and the website mentioned above.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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